This past week was rough. But I showed myself and my parents that when shit gets real, I can handle it. Timing was perfect to say the least. Lady called this morning and BITCHES! I’m moving out this weekend! =DDDDD

Except we’ll be moving in the middle of my week. It’s gonna be tiring as fuck but I’m so excited.

Within just the past 4 months I’ve become sous chef at my work, I started to really like someone (and that’s a whole different story), and just as I’m moving forward to fill out an application for an apartment, I get “kicked out” of my house. If our apps are good, looks like I’m moving out by next month. Damn. 

My life in insane. I’m tired. I can’t wait for the day I can truly be able to relax my mind.

Oh, and for Lent I’m giving up alcohol with the exception of the day of the J Boog show.

I’m anxious to see what Saturday holds. To have my different groups of friends together in one place. Plus my parents. With alcohol. 

I just need to vent. 

You know what’s shitty? When you wake up to a shitty text. That shit just ruins my day. Today I woke up to a text from my boss basically telling me that I’m sucking. Why he’s telling me this through a text, I don’t know. Ugh. I totally thought I was doing a good job. In my head I’m making this a huge deal, which is good and I know I’ll take whatever boss man has to say and I’ll work so hard till I can’t work anymore and it’ll be good in the end but right now I don’t know why I’m feeling like shit.

I haven’t posted a personal post in way too long.

First thing’s first I am now the first female sous chef at my job =). But only because of some shitty shit that went down with the previous sous chef and it’s just really shitty for me. At first I was super anxious about the new position and reluctant to take it but after thinking about it and asking my close friends/parents about it, it would’ve been stupid not to take it. I’m pumped for this experience. This job just transformed into something completely different and new, which is what I desperately needed. 

I’m ready for a relationship, but only with this one guy. But, it’s not going anywhere currently and it’s annoying. He needs to make his damn move already.

I miss my friends. I feel like I only see a certain group on the regular, and my other friends are being neglected =(

It’s crazy how much can happen in just one year. This time last year I feel like I was a completely different person, and if I would have known what was going to happen to me in 2011 I would have been scared shitless. 2011 so far has been so good to me. 

I feel like a shitty person. =(

Life lately has been blahhh. Mostly because of the fact that work has started to be bland and repetitive. Same shit different day. I keep saying and I feel like it’s time for, me to go. But, at the same time I don’t want to. There’s still a shit ton to learn, I’m just not taking initiative. My friend/coworker pointed this out to me the other week, and since then, I’ve made a plan. After summer when my schedule clears up, I’m going to get some hours in the back prepping and at the same time start looking for a new job. I love the people I work with and the chef in our kitchen is thee shit. I’m excited for the next move in my life, but at the same time scared shitless. Start all over again from the bottom. Damn.

Ew my hands smell like bleach.

It looks like a bomb exploded in my room. 

Bowl: Check

Electronica music: Check

Cleaning is a go.

My life seems so crazy right now. I’m trying to do so many things in one day, and I’m not prioritizing right. Sometimes I really wish there were 5 more hours in a day. I would get everything done and be able to relax at the end of the day. But, when in reality I get so overwhelmed at the beginning of the day because of all the shit I have to do, I get defeated before I even start. I think about all that I have to do, in detail and think about how tired I’m going to be at the end. 

I’m starting to realize that what I’ve found most important in my life these past 4 years is forming and maintaining friendships/relationships. Not only do I love meeting new people, I love creating friendships and experiences with people. I think that’s why I kick it so much. At times, it’s a burden and I wonder why I care so much about creating and keeping and maintaining friendships, cause I know that some aren’t doing anything for me and are more causing stress. I just want to leave, leave everything and everyone that I know and start something totally and epically new. 

Life has kinda sucked these past two weeks.

I feel very disconnected from anyone that actually matters in my life. I feel like I haven’t seen any of my super close friends in hella long. 

l need a new/another job.

It’s so nice to have a clean room finally.

I think it’s funny that my followers have doubled these past 2 weeks and I haven’t posted shit. 

It’s about to be 76 degrees in Seattle on Saturday. Fuck Yes.

This I truly am. =)

I lost my little purse that had my pipe and my bud in it. I think I’m gonna go cry in a corner…or just sleep I guess.